True tales this week
Juan* is now within a few years from retirement and he and his wife like to travel whenever possible in their RV but it wasn't always this way.
Austin skyline from Mt. Bonnell 1985
http://www.flickr.com/photos/oz4caster/5723538774/
Back in the mid 1980s, Juan is a private-practice attorney in downtown Austin working tremendously long hours to support his wife and their three elementary-age kids. One day, she says, "Hon, you can't do this, anymore. You're missing their lives and before you know it they'll be gone and you'll have missed it. You know how happy you are and they are while you're home."
But...the money is phenomenal! He can't give it up.
One night a few months later at around 8:00 pm, he's sitting at his palatial desk in the firm's high-rise overlooking the downtown skyline with endless oaks in the distance and a few oil and banking boom skyscrapers along the horizon (the first Austin had seen during its then-155-year-history.) From his desk, he can also see the Travis County Jail. It's another multi-story building and inmates are making jump shots on the rooftop court and Juan thinks: "Who's the prisoner here?"
A few days later, he quits, and takes a modest-paying job with no regrets.
+++++++++++++++++++
This week's other true tale comes via more pseudonyms sealed for their protection. Our dear friend, Jimmy, and his wife, Clara, regale us with this tale from Arthur. Jimmy says in all the decades he's known Arthur, this is one of the funniest misadventures he's ever heard and I hope you'll agree!
Arthur is middle aged and grew up in a small town where it's never OK to be gay. To this day, Arthur's dad has no idea nor would Arthur ever tell him as it would completely destroy their relationship. Jimmy thinks the rest of their family would be OK with it but agrees that it's not worth the risk. In short, nobody knows about his gayness except his closest friends.
Under this backdrop, Arthur gets an overseas wedding invitation where his dad plans to remarry. Since it's a family event, Arthur's dad wants all their immediate family to return to their hometown so they can all travel together for the big day.
Upon boarding the plane, Arthur is loading his luggage into the overhead bin and, as he's reaching up, his shorts fall straight down to his ankles and the other passengers burst with laughter! Already flustered and still hating to fly, he spends the next few hours taking a nap and realizing it's only been an hour with 10 left to go. He spends the remaining journey trying to get booze but the flight attendants probably notice his feral pace among the aisles and claim there's none on board.
Finally, they arrive and everyone settles down a bit at the hotel before Arthur solos out for some food. Unfortunately, the only thing on the menu *everywhere* is his least-favorite seafood. Finally, he finds a small market and buys the only familiar item: American cheese slices. You can imagine him sitting on the bed at the hotel and pitifully unwrapping and noming each slice.
The ceremony is held the next day and it's a standard charming service. At the reception, Arthur is awkwarding around complete strangers in an enormous ballroom but not really paying much attention to his surroundings. Suddenly, from across the room, he and a male-to-female transvestite see each other and she beelines toward him through an unaware hive.
She stops a couple feet away from Arthur and points at him with a thumbs-up, beaming smile, and a bellowing voice to proudly exclaim: "YOU-->GAY!"
Life is fabulous!
Austin skyline from Mt. Bonnell 1985
http://www.flickr.com/photos/oz4caster/5723538774/
Back in the mid 1980s, Juan is a private-practice attorney in downtown Austin working tremendously long hours to support his wife and their three elementary-age kids. One day, she says, "Hon, you can't do this, anymore. You're missing their lives and before you know it they'll be gone and you'll have missed it. You know how happy you are and they are while you're home."
But...the money is phenomenal! He can't give it up.
One night a few months later at around 8:00 pm, he's sitting at his palatial desk in the firm's high-rise overlooking the downtown skyline with endless oaks in the distance and a few oil and banking boom skyscrapers along the horizon (the first Austin had seen during its then-155-year-history.) From his desk, he can also see the Travis County Jail. It's another multi-story building and inmates are making jump shots on the rooftop court and Juan thinks: "Who's the prisoner here?"
A few days later, he quits, and takes a modest-paying job with no regrets.
+++++++++++++++++++
This week's other true tale comes via more pseudonyms sealed for their protection. Our dear friend, Jimmy, and his wife, Clara, regale us with this tale from Arthur. Jimmy says in all the decades he's known Arthur, this is one of the funniest misadventures he's ever heard and I hope you'll agree!
Arthur is middle aged and grew up in a small town where it's never OK to be gay. To this day, Arthur's dad has no idea nor would Arthur ever tell him as it would completely destroy their relationship. Jimmy thinks the rest of their family would be OK with it but agrees that it's not worth the risk. In short, nobody knows about his gayness except his closest friends.
Under this backdrop, Arthur gets an overseas wedding invitation where his dad plans to remarry. Since it's a family event, Arthur's dad wants all their immediate family to return to their hometown so they can all travel together for the big day.
Upon boarding the plane, Arthur is loading his luggage into the overhead bin and, as he's reaching up, his shorts fall straight down to his ankles and the other passengers burst with laughter! Already flustered and still hating to fly, he spends the next few hours taking a nap and realizing it's only been an hour with 10 left to go. He spends the remaining journey trying to get booze but the flight attendants probably notice his feral pace among the aisles and claim there's none on board.
Finally, they arrive and everyone settles down a bit at the hotel before Arthur solos out for some food. Unfortunately, the only thing on the menu *everywhere* is his least-favorite seafood. Finally, he finds a small market and buys the only familiar item: American cheese slices. You can imagine him sitting on the bed at the hotel and pitifully unwrapping and noming each slice.
The ceremony is held the next day and it's a standard charming service. At the reception, Arthur is awkwarding around complete strangers in an enormous ballroom but not really paying much attention to his surroundings. Suddenly, from across the room, he and a male-to-female transvestite see each other and she beelines toward him through an unaware hive.
She stops a couple feet away from Arthur and points at him with a thumbs-up, beaming smile, and a bellowing voice to proudly exclaim: "YOU-->GAY!"
Life is fabulous!
